We’ve all observed caring and compassionate leaders who appear to escape cutthroat tactics that hardwire a cynic‘s brain. We also know that:
- negative connections in brains are easier to slip into and harder to remove, while -
- positive connections are harder to create and tend to leave faster. Why so?
Fear tactics or stress over-stimulate the amygdala and excite the brain’s circuitry. Threats, for instance, increase dangerous cortisol chemicals and lower levels of serotonin, the adrenalin for well-being.
Evidence of negative connections may include behaviors that:
- Focus on people’s flaws rather than finding the good in others. You see it in disagreements that subtly diminish or attempt to one-up an employee.
- Criticize research parts rather than recognize parts that work well Academics tend to call meaningful “critique,” what their victims see as cutthroat criticism.
- Exclude people who differ rather then embrace cultural differences. It may be as simple as ignoring other races at work, or as serious as denying promotions unfairly.
Does care trump cutthroat where you work?
Evidence of positive connections include behaviors that add to meaningful lives:
- Encourage others consistently and seek the best in peers. Leaders who support, let go of people’s flaws, advance others’ talents, and promote trust.
- Gives resources and assistance to promote onto well-being. Leaders who practice generosity rather than fall for power, self seeking or greed.
- Holds an invisible crown over people’s heads and wait patiently for growth. Shows the kindness that offers space for others to grow into it.
To some extent, the choice derives from our parents, our communities, and the particular historical era and cultural group in which we are born and grow up. But in the last analysis, the choice of what to be, and how to be, is ours and ours alone.
Without doubt, each act of kindness rewires the brain for caring solutions, just as each ax lowered by cutthroats wire for further swings at the problem. It’s not always apparent at first whether a leader is kind or cutthroat. Have you ever seen one disguised as the other?
One friend and fellow leader Dave Caiazza, put it this way:
Work against the dangerous twins of jealousy and hypocrisy. They come disguised as concern, shrouded in statistics, and hidden behind a smile. When you’re good at something, there will always be someone who wants to undo you. Don’t let them.
How does kindness transform your leadership?