Watch your tone, or prepare for a fight with cynics the next time a disagreement arises! Have you noticed how highly successful people use tone to advance their lives and communities? Or how ineffective people clobber brainpower all around them? It’s no coincidence since tone is the fuel that drives interpersonal intelligence toward or away from your targets.
Check out a tone test to see where your skills land you. Are you gaining the dividends you deserve from tactics for good tone when different views or beliefs arise? Luckily these strategies can be learned by all – so even tone deaf interpersonal people can gain more.
You may spot wicked tone in a person who blames leaders when things go wrong, yet fails to fix problems in his or her own circles. Yet tone tactics to disagree respectfully takes more than recognition of the cynicism, anger, or intimidation that triggers tone’s nemesis.
Successful tone, that builds goodwill takes:
- Affirming another person’s insights – even before sharing views on the other side. Not that one has to agree, or even value other views especially. Yet tone shows that you heard, considered and valued the person who holds different views.
- Thanking people for different approaches – and show how you will try a few new methods based on what you’ve learned from theirs.
- Sharing personal experiences – with respect, so that others would enjoy thinking about together. Rather than a need to replace original ideas presented by others.
- Asking a 2-footed question – before you offer personal ideas on the topic. For instance, you could ask – “Have you thought about…? What if…? Could another possibility be…?
- Adding one unique idea to the mix – to inspire with confidence. Make it more a part of an invigorating discussion, than any need to top another person’s points. Whenever you support your own best ideas – with concrete examples, people tend to see more possibilities in what you present.
Bravo – you’ve also just tapped into serotonin that builds good will, as well as mutiple intelligences that sustains it. What tone tips would you add to inspire others to engage more diverse views for genuine solutions?
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Created by Ellen Weber, Brain Based Tasks for Growth Mindset