My Christmas rang with unforced rhythms of grace in the form of a simple strategy offered to my little grandson. It happened after a busy day of trains – when a one-and-a-half-year-old took his tired voice to the table and his parents responded.
Usually very well behaved, the baby cried for his dinner to hurry up. It’s what happened after – that left me proud of my children, and taking mental notes about the power of well-suggested strategies. A seemingly simple tool triggered progress and maintained dignity as the baby clearly enjoyed his improved tone.
A calm, caring tone modeled by his parents assured the baby that he’d get dinner faster by simply using his words.
From a toddler’s limited lexicon, Hendrik plucked out a choice word, that and was promptly passed his dinner.
I saw in my kids’ gift to my grandson, the power of offering simple tools that help others win more than lose.
Armed with a new approach to express his frustration in good tone, while holding onto evident love from family, the baby thoroughly enjoyed his meal. Within minutes my grandson told his charming stories, giggled with the rest of us and shared his Nana’s silly straw. It made my day!
He transformed dinner into a fun place to linger with family, because his parents offered him a plan he could run with. All because of one thoughtful strategy – both baby and parents won. So did the magic of Christmas.
See any similarities to coach others or support civil discourse that offers strategies for more wins on different sides of issues?
In that simple challenge to use your words I spotted benefits for moments when frustration sets in.
- Speak kindly rather than push people into a corner metaphorically – when cortisol flows into their brain. Calm shows serotonin care with strategies that stoke well being.
- Model tone to a frustrated person rather than adopt poor tone in response. Friend and colleague Bob Moesta suggests looking at all issues through the eyes of the other person. Yes!
- Suggest strategies that fit and improve a person’s talents and situation. That strategy might be kindled and designed in a mutual mentoring manner.
What tool might you offer to help a person get past communication that works against brainpower? How could you help others by modeling civil discourse, even in a place of personal frustration?
What strategies could begin to restore stronger discussions – with civil discourse – where you work?
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Created by Ellen Weber, Brain Based Tasks for Growth Mindset