You’ve likely seen it happen during this economic downturn. He brought her down without any awareness that he undermined her career. She dismissed his good ideas without realizing she excluded her colleague.
Have you seen people damage good relationships, or stomp out mind-bending opportunities, and then appear surprised?
Or have you heard people ask for help in sweeping statements that say little about specifics they need, and then express their frustration when others fail to offer precise ideas to assist them?
Confusion and misunderstanding come from speaking out without regard for what response will likely come back. It’s more than using good tone though. It’s also bigger than meta messages, which merely mask what you really mean. The kind that says, “It’s OK” when it is clearly not OK.
Most people would agree that what you say and how you say it impacts people and makes or breaks powerful connections. Yet fewer people realize that what response you’ll get back is often shaped directly by what you say. In other words, you either enrich or limit responses back, by how you communicate ideas or ask questions. Have you seen it?
If you want clarification for directions, for instance, ask specific questions about only that part you need clarified. Don’t say, I’m frustrated, overwhelmed, confused, and upset. Benefits from clear communications include higher intelligence gained each time you articulate well.
Why not listen today to hear what solutions you inspire from words you speak. Do you hear insights that could fix broken systems because you spoke solutions in mind? What will others hear similar solutions in your words today?