A close friend and colleague of mine cleverly uses the term, “Let it go!” to address life’s tougher and more hard-hitting conflicts. An admirable quality, it usually works well over time to drop things and move on.
In contrast, my own response has often been to fix problems, try to improve things for all, and to discuss alternative solutions. Lately though, I am learning deep hidden values in the hard work of letting more go. You?
In relational or personal struggles, for instance, do you tend to let go?
- When people close to you diminish your life’s call – do you let it go?
- When people you love take you for granted or criticize – do you let it go?
- When younger peers get promotions you’d applied for earlier – do you let it go?
Mental barriers make it harder for some people to let go, while others rewire their brains’ plasticity to adjust and move on in refreshing ways, with far greater ease. It’s difficult at first.
Barriers to letting go, come from amygdalas that steam up faster in some brains to create hurt or sizzling emotional reactions. Speed bumps also slow down people who mentally hardwire more fix-it than drop-it patterns of behavior over time. It takes letting it go, to rewire a brain’s defaults in favor of leapfrogging over learned ruts into freedom to respond in caring ways.
What’s been your experience? And do you men and women tend to let gut-wrenching challenges go rationally or emotionally?