Let it Go!

Wherever unforgiveness or stress become companions at work – you can expect traps that will tank every efforts to move forward. It doesn’t need to be that way.

A close friend and colleague of mine cleverly uses the term, “Let it go!” to address life’s tougher and more hard-hitting conflicts. An admirable quality, it usually works well over time to drop things and move on.

In contrast, my own response has often been to  fix problems, try to improve things for all, and to discuss alternative solutions. Lately though, I am learning deep hidden values in the hard work of  letting more go. You?

In relational or personal struggles, for instance, do you tend to let go?

For example:

  • When people close to you diminish your life’s call – do you let it go?
  • When people you love take you for granted or criticize – do you let it go?
  • When younger peers get  promotions you’d applied for earlier – do you let it go?

Mental barriers make it harder for some people to let go, while others  rewire their brains’ plasticity to adjust and move on in refreshing ways, with far greater ease. It’s difficult at first.

Barriers to letting go,  come from  amygdalas that steam up faster in some brains to create hurt or sizzling emotional reactions. Speed bumps also slow down people who mentally hardwire more fix-it than drop-it patterns of behavior over time. It takes letting it go,  to rewire a brain’s defaults in favor of leapfrogging over learned ruts into freedom to respond in caring ways.

What’s been your experience? And do you men and women tend to let gut-wrenching challenges go rationally or emotionally?

16 Comments

  1. You listed three critical areas here of what can grab you emotionally and take away your ability to think rationally. Interestingly, men and women are grabbed by very different stimuli that elicit such responses.

    But where the test comes is next time you are pelted – no matter the stimulus. This is something that touches us all, from presidential candidates to the professional behind the library desk.

    Thanks for sharing and for unpacking your answers.

    Robyn McMasters last blog post..Is Your Brain in Gear at Work?

  2. rummuser says:

    The answer is an unqualified “Yes”. I hesitate to say it here lest it lead to other topics, but, I not only let go, I let God. It is not easy, but, with effort and total surrender, it is possible to let go.

    rummusers last blog post..Realities Of The Past.

  3. eweber says:

    Ramana, I agree with your fine reflection here, and this is obviously a lifetime effort:-)

  4. eweber says:

    What an interesting thought! The stuff that fails to stick emotionally leaves us rational, yet the stuff of caring can be tilted toward windmills, is likely the thing to let go.

  5. I was told as I thought about the topic for my doctorate that I must be passionate about it since it would consume me day and night for four years. Interesting part about that is when you begin research, you have to be completely objective and take your own passion out of it, or it will not be credible to others. There’s a paradox if I ever saw one. ;-)

    Robyn McMasters last blog post..Is Your Brain in Gear at Work?

  6. This is certainly timely advice for those of us who vote in the US election tomorrow – at least half the population is going to have to do this very thing. Either way, it ain’t gonna be pretty!

    I think, however, you’ve misspelled it, Ellen. The correct word you’re looking for is “lettigo”! :-D

    Robert Hruzeks last blog post..Coming on Monday

  7. eweber says:

    Interesting and what a connection — you are right. I had not thought of that angle!

    Love your spelling Robert, and it makes me wonder if it is easier to do it when spelled your cool way:-)!

  8. eweber says:

    Yet you may be onto something Robyn. Makes one wonder what are the brain’s distinctions between passionate and obsession about a thing. When stuff sticks to the brain – because of emotional or amygdala heat-ups, it’s hard to LET IT GO:-)

    Now your thoughtful comments make me wonder if passionate or obsessive people have a harder time letting some tougher things go. What do you think?

  9. I do not want to stereotype because all artists are not alike, but a few get so obsessed by their art that some “jump into the Rhine,” rather than face another reality.

    Robyn McMasters last blog post..Inspiring Words to Help Third World Women

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