Asked what they most regretted, retirees named lack of preparation for retirement. You? People who regret missed chances from past, also tend to focus less on present prospects. No wonder lamenters continue to miss out daily. It’s a bit like staring in the rear window and trying to navigate a fast-moving car on a busy freeway. Far better to glance back at regrets intermittently in rear view mirrors, yet gaze intently out front windows to move forward with focus.
Regrets for failed finances, for what could have been, for caring words left unspoken, for dreams left unreached. Whether regret’s for starting late, working little, spending much, failing tests, or trusting the wrong people, regret opens a crash course for more failure. You could say, it beams light on doors left unopened, yet fails to illumine opportunities ahead. 
How do you let go of regret? Here are a few suggestions worth consideration:
- Chase one new adventure today and adventures lost to regret in the past, will dim as your working memory engages present challenges.
- Risk using a favorite hobby to launch new project for profit or fun, and your brain rewires past regrets into innovations that few optimize.
- Inspire new incentives with a diverse group, and prevent your brain from defaulting back to the ruts of regret that limits fresh focus.
- Draw on at least five of your multiple intelligences, and stomp out regrets that come from using fewer intelligences for forward thinking.
- Laugh at the little things today, and regrets will flee in humor’s chemical hormones released in the brain, for new life with fresh chances.
- Change the chemical and electrical networks in your brain from regret to rejuvenated relationships that emulate care and curiosity.
Research shows how regret stops mental growth, triggers potentially dangerous chemicals and shuts out any new shoots of opportunity that could be yours.
Think of regret as the dam that stops fresh flowing waters finances, or sudden roadblocks that barricade new highways opportunities.
Can you see regret now from your brain’s perspective?
The opposite of regret that stops your progress, is …? Begin there, do the opposite today, and your brain rewires its plasticity to rejuvenate your situation.
Because of our unique mix of intelligences, answers differ for different people, but your brain can transform regret into positive financial brainpower, say, only when you act on grief’s opposites.
What could you do today to reboot your brain back onto a promising highway forward, when regret tries to shut out new neuron pathways to success?
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on Jan 17th, 2009 at 7:15 am
Ellen what a great and appropiate post for me this morning.
The idea of laughter and humor allowing your brain to leave behind regret. I agree I often find that when people begin to laugh regret is suppresed.
I feel that regret also comes from “scripts” that we allow our brains and selfs to become ingrained in. All of your techniques are excellent for createing divergent paths to get us out of these scripts of behaviors.
When working with teams I find a team regret. An entire department, team, company, etc.. creates a shared regret that keeps them from moving forward.
Thank you
michael carduss last blog post..iSixSigma Award
on Jan 17th, 2009 at 8:08 am
Michael, now you’ve made my day too! Thanks for stopping by and for minding us of the “scripts” we can fall prey to! That’s the basil ganglia collections of a lifetime and regrets hold the worst of these on center stage to pull us down.
Wow – I’d never considered a team regret! Do you suppose a person who is less skillful and getting past regret in individual life – would also effectively hold some teams in that same regret by their actions? This would make an amazing post!
on Jan 17th, 2009 at 8:52 am
team, illustrates the existence and functioning of collective consciousness …
which, along with the existence of subtler levels of consciousness, so far eludes the small domain of permissible/fundable neuroscience research ..
gregorylents last blog post..Symbols of the Self – part three
on Jan 17th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Thanks for weighing in Greg, and what you say makes a great deal of sense. Given the fact that some leaders, lead great teams past collective regrets, what trait might leaders bring to that process to facilitate a team forward, in spite of barriers that come through regrets expressed by one or several team members?
on Jan 17th, 2009 at 10:23 am
As we move to a new government administration, this is a perfect time to focus forward rather than focusing on our national regrets. The election cycle itself showed people’s hunger for moving forward rather than looking back.
Your posts are always uplifting. I think you should run in 2016!
on Jan 17th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Conrad you make me smile. Had not thought about it — but as you pointed out — we are finally moving forward as a nation! Woe – that IS good news for the economy and for all of us. Seems to me that each of us could find ways to ensure the “forward” part of the motion though:-) You do well at that! Thanks!
on Feb 3rd, 2009 at 1:56 pm
The entire working world should read this post. I am retired but I now work full time as a recruiter. The couple of years I took off was cool but also made me learn, I enjoy the work week,you are right you must process the past and bring the things you have learned to the current day in order to anticipate a bright. Finding the best of the past, present and future is the challenge for retirement.
JDs last blog post..StarWise on Leadership
on Feb 3rd, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Jim, you do this so well, and you have inspired me to do the same. Daily we could find lots to regret or lots to savor. When I think of wonderful fellow leaders like you I choose the latter every time! Thanks for all you teach us and all you model. Life may not be easy — but it’s an amazing adventure when you have inspiring friends to walk alongside! Thanks Jim!
on Feb 16th, 2009 at 6:45 am
[...] skill 31 = Move Tone Tools to Open Opportunities Smart skill 32 = Move Past Regret by Doing its Opposite Smart skill 33 = Move Beliefs into Action to Win Smart skill 34 = Move Beyond Technology that Fails [...]
on Feb 16th, 2009 at 7:14 am
[...] skill 31 = Move Tone Tools to Open Opportunities Smart skill 32 = Move Past Regret by Doing its Opposite Smart skill 33 = Move Beliefs into Action to Win Smart skill 34 = Move Beyond Technology that Fails [...]
on Feb 21st, 2009 at 8:06 pm
[...] In communication – Claim that no feelings were hurt when your emotions were crushed, and that meta-message sends convoluted meanings that leaves whole circles with mental regrets. [...]
on Mar 21st, 2009 at 9:11 am
[...] focus from freer behaviours toward security and satisfaction. Consider a day without guilt, then act as if regret is your enemy. There – you’ve already launched a gift of freedom that keeps on [...]
on Apr 19th, 2009 at 7:51 am
[...] skill 31 = Move Tone Tools to Open Opportunities Smart skill 32 = Move Past Regret by Doing its Opposite Smart skill 33 = Move Beliefs into Action to Win Smart skill 34 = Move Beyond Technology that Fails [...]
on Apr 20th, 2009 at 9:22 am
[...] Lamenters who dwell on regrets for what could have [...]
on Jun 20th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
[...] skill 31 = Move Tone Tools to Open Opportunities Smart skill 32 = Move Past Regret by Doing its Opposite Smart skill 33 = Move Beliefs into Action to Win Smart skill 34 = Move Beyond Technology that Fails [...]
on Jul 8th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
[...] Focus on new possibilities rather than regret lost opportunities. When it comes to the brain we truly do become what we think and do, and [...]
on Jul 29th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
[...] than judge a culprit’s motives, regret your own weaknesses, or focus on what that person may have meant in meta-messages spoken, simply [...]
on Aug 9th, 2009 at 7:18 am
[...] skill 31 = Move Tone Tools to Open Opportunities Smart skill 32 = Move Past Regret by Doing its Opposite Smart skill 33 = Move Beliefs into Action to Win Smart skill 34 = Move Beyond Technology that Fails [...]
on Aug 9th, 2009 at 7:18 am
[...] skill 31 = Move Tone Tools to Open Opportunities Smart skill 32 = Move Past Regret by Doing its Opposite Smart skill 33 = Move Beliefs into Action to Win Smart skill 34 = Move Beyond Technology that Fails [...]
on Aug 15th, 2009 at 9:28 am
[...] you tame your amygdala, and rewire your brain to respond to emergencies quickly but without fear, regrets or anger of the [...]
on Dec 12th, 2009 at 7:32 am
[...] Regret stops mental growth suggests this director of a brain-based education institute. People who regret missed chances from the past tend to focus less on opportunities today – and only have more regrets to lament tomorrow. [...]