Move Past Regret by Doing its Opposite

Asked what they most regretted, retirees named lack of preparation for retirement. You? People who regret  missed chances from past, also tended to focus less on present prospects.

No wonder lamenters continue to miss out daily. New studies show that older folks should let go of regret faster, with some indication that younger people can benefit from holding onto regrets longer. At all ages use caution as regret can be deadly as a spear to the mind.

Regret’s a bit like staring out the rear view mirror while  navigating fast forward on a busy freeway. Far better to glance back at regrets intermittently in rear view mirrors, yet gaze intently out front windows to build trust that moves us  forward with focus.

Rarely Easy at First

Regrets for failed finances, for what could have been, for caring words left unspoken, for dreams left unreached.   Whether regret’s for starting late, working  little, spending  much, failing tests, or trusting the wrong people, regret opens a crash course for more failure. You could say, it beams light on doors left unopened, yet fails to illumine opportunities ahead.  

How do you let go of regret?

Strategies to consider:

  • Chase one new adventure today and watch past disappointments dim.  Working memory delights in current ventures.
  • Risk refiring a favorite hobby.  Or  launch new project for profit or fun, and your brain rewires past regrets into new wonders most people merely dream of reaching.
  • Inspire new incentives with a diverse group, and prevent your brain from defaulting back to ruts of regret that block creativity.
  • Draw on  a few more intelligences, and stomp out regrets that come from limited mental resouces.
  • Laugh at the little things today, and regrets will flee in humor’s chemical hormones released in the brain, for new life with fresh chances.
  • Change the chemical and electrical networks in your brain from regret to rejuvenated relationships that emulate care and curiosity.

Bypass Dangers of Regret

Research shows how regret stops mental growth, triggers potentially dangerous chemicals and shuts out any new shoots of opportunity that could be yours.

Think of regret as the dam that stops fresh flowing waters finances, or sudden roadblocks that barricade new highways opportunities.

Can you see regret now from your brain’s perspective?

The opposite of regret that stops your progress, is …? Begin there, do the opposite today, and your brain rewires its plasticity to rejuvenate your situation.

Because of our unique mix of intelligences, answers differ for different people, but your brain can transform regret into positive financial brainpower, say, only when you act on grief’s opposites.

How will you reboot your brain beyond regret and onto new neuron pathways to success?

Related Posts:

Smart skill 31 = Move Tone Tools to Open Opportunities
Smart skill 32 = Move Past Regret by Doing its Opposite
Smart skill 33 = Move Beliefs into Action to Win
Smart skill 34 = Move Beyond Technology that Fails
Smart skill 35 = Move People Back to Center
Smart skill 36 = Move Beyond Myths of Safety
Smart skill 37 = Move Brainpower into Reconfigured Learning
Smart skill 38 = Move to Replace Broken Systems
Smart skill 39 = Move Innovation into Invention
Smart skill 40 = Move Intelligences up a Notch Today

22 Comments

  1. Ellen what a great and appropiate post for me this morning.
    The idea of laughter and humor allowing your brain to leave behind regret. I agree I often find that when people begin to laugh regret is suppresed.

    I feel that regret also comes from “scripts” that we allow our brains and selfs to become ingrained in. All of your techniques are excellent for createing divergent paths to get us out of these scripts of behaviors.

    When working with teams I find a team regret. An entire department, team, company, etc.. creates a shared regret that keeps them from moving forward.

    Thank you

    michael carduss last blog post..iSixSigma Award

  2. eweber says:

    Michael, now you’ve made my day too! Thanks for stopping by and for minding us of the “scripts” we can fall prey to! That’s the basil ganglia collections of a lifetime and regrets hold the worst of these on center stage to pull us down.

    Wow – I’d never considered a team regret! Do you suppose a person who is less skillful and getting past regret in individual life – would also effectively hold some teams in that same regret by their actions? This would make an amazing post!

  3. gregorylent says:

    team, illustrates the existence and functioning of collective consciousness …

    which, along with the existence of subtler levels of consciousness, so far eludes the small domain of permissible/fundable neuroscience research ..

    gregorylents last blog post..Symbols of the Self – part three

  4. eweber says:

    Thanks for weighing in Greg, and what you say makes a great deal of sense. Given the fact that some leaders, lead great teams past collective regrets, what trait might leaders bring to that process to facilitate a team forward, in spite of barriers that come through regrets expressed by one or several team members?

  5. Conrad says:

    As we move to a new government administration, this is a perfect time to focus forward rather than focusing on our national regrets. The election cycle itself showed people’s hunger for moving forward rather than looking back.

    Your posts are always uplifting. I think you should run in 2016!

  6. eweber says:

    Conrad you make me smile. Had not thought about it — but as you pointed out — we are finally moving forward as a nation! Woe – that IS good news for the economy and for all of us. Seems to me that each of us could find ways to ensure the “forward” part of the motion though:-) You do well at that! Thanks!

  7. JD says:

    The entire working world should read this post. I am retired but I now work full time as a recruiter. The couple of years I took off was cool but also made me learn, I enjoy the work week,you are right you must process the past and bring the things you have learned to the current day in order to anticipate a bright. Finding the best of the past, present and future is the challenge for retirement.

    JDs last blog post..StarWise on Leadership

  8. eweber says:

    Jim, you do this so well, and you have inspired me to do the same. Daily we could find lots to regret or lots to savor. When I think of wonderful fellow leaders like you I choose the latter every time! Thanks for all you teach us and all you model. Life may not be easy — but it’s an amazing adventure when you have inspiring friends to walk alongside! Thanks Jim!

  9. […] skill 31 = Move Tone Tools to Open Opportunities Smart skill 32 = Move Past Regret by Doing its Opposite Smart skill 33 = Move Beliefs into Action to Win Smart skill 34 = Move Beyond Technology that Fails […]

  10. […] skill 31 = Move Tone Tools to Open Opportunities Smart skill 32 = Move Past Regret by Doing its Opposite Smart skill 33 = Move Beliefs into Action to Win Smart skill 34 = Move Beyond Technology that Fails […]

  11. […] In communication – Claim that no feelings were hurt when your emotions were crushed, and that meta-message sends convoluted meanings that leaves whole circles with mental regrets. […]

  12. […] focus from freer behaviours toward security and satisfaction. Consider a day without guilt, then act as if regret is  your enemy. There – you’ve already launched a gift of freedom that keeps on […]

  13. […] skill 31 = Move Tone Tools to Open Opportunities Smart skill 32 = Move Past Regret by Doing its Opposite Smart skill 33 = Move Beliefs into Action to Win Smart skill 34 = Move Beyond Technology that Fails […]

  14. […] Lamenters who dwell on regrets for what could have […]

  15. […] skill 31 = Move Tone Tools to Open Opportunities Smart skill 32 = Move Past Regret by Doing its Opposite Smart skill 33 = Move Beliefs into Action to Win Smart skill 34 = Move Beyond Technology that Fails […]

  16. […] Focus on new possibilities rather than regret lost opportunities. When it comes to the brain we truly do become what we think and do, and […]

  17. […] than judge a culprit’s motives, regret your own weaknesses, or focus on what that person may have meant in meta-messages spoken, simply […]

  18. […] skill 31 = Move Tone Tools to Open Opportunities Smart skill 32 = Move Past Regret by Doing its Opposite Smart skill 33 = Move Beliefs into Action to Win Smart skill 34 = Move Beyond Technology that Fails […]

  19. […] skill 31 = Move Tone Tools to Open Opportunities Smart skill 32 = Move Past Regret by Doing its Opposite Smart skill 33 = Move Beliefs into Action to Win Smart skill 34 = Move Beyond Technology that Fails […]

  20. […] you tame your amygdala, and rewire your brain to respond to emergencies quickly but without fear, regrets or anger of the […]

  21. […] Regret stops mental growth suggests this director of a brain-based education institute. People who regret missed chances from the past tend to focus less on opportunities today – and only have more regrets to lament tomorrow. […]

  22. […] you’re not prepared to move past regrets you cannot create a better way. Why so? On the flip side of regret and blame, lies creatity and […]

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