Yesterday,  on a walk in the woods with a gifted young leader, I once again saw his ethics, openness and willingness to become vulnerable in order to learn new skills. Without notice a mountain biker appeared on our winding path and startled my friend’s dog Jack, who in return snapped at the bikers feet. The 20 minutes that followed taught me again about the value of snipping an amygdala before you snipe back like Jack did.

As the biker diminished my friend, it was obvious the man’s favorite spot to walk his dog had suddenly lost its magic. From their daily wonderland – the woods became a dreaded encounter with a biker who indicated he planned to ride there daily, and did not expect to encounter the dog. Did you know that in such cases your amygdala reacts from stored responses?

What’s around your next corner that could hurt, or disappoint, or leave you feeling sad or guilty and in mental ruts for days? Any person who reaches out to others vulnerably, like my friend does, also opens pathways to cynics who reject, belittle, or ignore you because they disapprove of who you are or what you represent.

Even today, you might feel the sting of words spoken by a trusted colleague, open a card from a family member and find any affection obvious from its absence, or encounter a person you care for who makes plans that deliberately exclude you. Each encounter that stings, rejects, criticizes, or diminishes you also locks steel jaws onto your amygdala.  Luckily though, jaws that create intense emotional pain,  can also become a trigger to snip your amygdala before you snipe back and intensify the damage. How so?

Rather than judge a culprit’s motives, regret your own weaknesses, or focus on deciphering what that person could be saying in meta-messages spoken, simply snip away.  Sure, use good tone,  and name the problem honestly rather than deny it exists, but then take mental scissors to snip your well being from any tethers to maligning words or thoughtless acts. The snipping leaves you mentally in a place to grow from the experience, or even offer an olive branch in response – rather than in a place of depression.

Refuse even to argue with yourself about the fact that a hurtful  person may be trying to improve, and instead snip your amygdala from all actions that add sadness or worry. Remember, it’s not about another person, whom you cannot change. It’s not even about the horrors of a toxic workplace.  Instead it’s about replenishing your deep pool of inner wellness, so that you can speak and act with respect even to those who disagree.

Finally focus on alternative activities that offer you challenge, fun or adventure, rather than replay hurtful acts mentally, and increase inner wounds. That divergence offers your brain a gentle place to build new neuron pathways to a healthier you. Through your focus on an activity you value, you’ll also reclaim your sense of wonder about life.  You’ll welcome back that fleeing inner joy.

Have you been confronted with a shattering experience, yet remained calm on your own winding roads of adventure like my young friend? How will you snip your amygdala?

You can truly letting go – and break from inner pain or confusion to prepare your brain for a confident and courageous response. Yes, even when you confront a bully’s taunt’s or golf a round that disappoints. Have you seen it happen?

See Related Sites:

Long before you realize the problem, your brain may be wired to fail in ways that might surprise you. How so?

Let’s say you find yourself crankier than normal.  You may suffer anxiety, or fear taking that risk that will move you forward at work. When this happens, you’ve likely stirred up a chemical hormone in your brain that pushes against relationships, courage, solutions, and general well being.

Cortisol is a potent chemical that surges when you slip into stress, and is now  recognized  as a drug that can literally shrink human brains.  It leaves other damaging footprints behind too, that luckily can be avoided through awareness of its trickery. Researchers have known for some time, for instance,  that cortisol shuts down learning, creates anxiety attacks and can cause depression.

Less known, until recently, are tactics to counter cortisol surges.

You may be saying … but cortisol has useful purposes, and you are correct. It’s a short term chemical which is useful to treat allergies, or zap you with the energy to survive a shocking moment. Cortisol can also lower sensitivity to pain, help you to survive grief, or pull you through a short term pressure project.

Long-term cortisol surges though, where you maintain harmful levels,  can be highly dangerous. Research shows cortisol to:

1. Lower immune systems
2. Slow down thinking
3. Create blood sugar imbalances
4. Raise your blood pressure
5. Weaken muscle tissue
6. Decrease bone density
7. Increase fat to stomach areas.

Can you see why you may react negatively when under the influence of harmful chemical surges?

To flee from and lower dangerous levels of cortisol:

a. Relax, listen to music,  take a walk, and run from stress.
b. Spend time with upbeat people, laugh, and steer away from cynics.
c. Manage time, create  doable daily targets, and avoid overloads
d. Take up a sport, do stairs, park far from doors and avoid passivity.
e. Give away things, care, join Rotary, and run from financial anxiety.
f. Teach from your strengths, inspire excellence, yet flee perfectionism.
g. Propose winning solutions and avoid fixation on problems at work.

You get the idea, and will likely have better alternatives than mine, to sidestep cortisol’s confinement. Strange as it may seem, the key is to do the opposite of whatever creates cortisol. To do the opposite of a cortisol response, is to rewire the brain for more serotonin guided behaviours.

Luckily the human brain also comes fine tuned for serotonin success, through doing healthier actions.  For example, your brain will rewire dendrite brain cells for serotonin well-being and growth plasticity in areas that had once created cortisol imbalances.

It’s worth an effort to make a few changes, when you think about the rewards. People who do so, tend to replace cortisol crankiness for serotonin serenity. It’s also true that some people come with lower levels of this drug, or seem to generate fewer fluctuating cortisol surges.  Have you noticed how calm and rational some people are – even if a hairy spider meanders past?

Spiders aside,  did you know that at least 22 stressors will creep in on you - even on an ordinary day.