Top Leadership Blog Award

leadership-and-managementTop 100 Leadership Blogs


Tone for Tonic or Toxins in Tough Times

It happens faster than you can wrap your head around replies, much less pause for peaceful solutions. Tonic or toxin? Poor tone shoots poison at others, and often wings back in the same form it was sent. Politicians, like Senator Bayh, quit Congress over tone toxins.  Have you seen it escalate lately?

Like 8 ounces of Vodka mixed into 2  ounces of orange juice, toxic  communication zaps your amygdala before you can blurt out a decent defense. How so?

He tells you he’s a listener – even advertises it as his tag line on a blog – and then interrupts you constantly on a busy day. You retaliate by ignoring him when he asks a reasonable request.

She insists she’s happy to buy lunch, only to report  later to friends that you’re as cheap as a counterfeit two dollar bill. You retaliate by dropping her her off the list for your holiday extravaganza.

Even the most even-keeled communicator will admit that there are more than a few days when they wonder whether it might be a lot less stressful to hang up their cleats in favor of  more tone friendly roles. How so?

Open your comments with one affirmation that’s genuine. Avoid toxins by using statement that show you are open to learn from all sides of an issue. Design one main idea at a time in your statements, so that people can see where you are going and contribute fresh new ideas to move the concept deeper.  Avoid commenting when you feel attacked – because you will likely come at topics with a heated amygdala, and that will cloud your ability for clear thinking or thoughtful collaboration. Invoke novel solutions rather than vent about problems.

Did you know that novelty literally kickstarts brainpower? Look for one key topic or problem to build peaceful resolutions onto with folks from diverse backgrounds, and watch the wonder of many brains working together toward what most people crave – a finer future to replace  troubled times in any area targeted.

Some 2 million American workers are victims of workplace violence yearly. Like the Vodka hidden in a whisk of orange juice, cruelty often starts with poison tone, and escalates pollutants such as racism – sip by sip. It doesn’t have to be that way.

In most relationships, not every interaction is filled with peaches and cream.  There are many days when you  wonder whether your words or actions can accomplish anything, and others when you will sense that you just took a bullfrog leap in the wrong direction. 

Consider These Less Than Tonic Times:

  • You call a meeting to identify tone skills at work and the aggressive team stays away to avoid the topic.

A Few  Suggestions for Surviving Tough Tone Days:

  • Watch for tone problems around holidays, from people who struggle with intimate or healthy relationships. Set up a contest and offer a reward for the team with top tone skills.

A Bottom–Line from Poor Tone  to Genius:

Not that silver bullets exist for bad tone days, yet the best thing that builds tone is to find solutions that leave no brains behind.  On bad days remind yourself that no human is invincible, and yet all make choices that balance the brain’s angel or devil parts of tone in ways that require evidence in practice.

Rather than mistakenly believe that you can do no wrong, learn and teach tools for tone.  Exchange that sea of cynicism for renewed brainpower that engages voices on the other side of even the most controversial issues.  That’s the tone that fueled Einstein’s brainpower to persist and invent.

YOUR TURN! Join our Brain Based Circles! Would love to meet you at any of the following!

Brain Leaders and Learners Blog
Mita Brain Center Facebook
efweber on Pinterest
@ellenfweber on Twitter
ellenfweber on Instagram
Ellen Weber on Google+
Ellen Weber on LinkedIn

Created by Ellen Weber, Brain Based Tasks for Growth Mindset

Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

5 Comments to “Tone for Tonic or Toxins in Tough Times”

[…] whether it’s a lot less stressful to hang up their cleats in favor of doing bare routines, tone tactics act like a vehicle to tug innovation back into play. It helps to invite an example of good tone […]

[…] the brain comes with capabilities such as tone tactics for tough times,  that help to create freedom from fearful events. You can learn to look fear in the eye, and when […]

[…] not so much the pressure or problem that pummels you, as it’s your response – or tone skills you use – to the pounding that decides what fate will follow. Depending on chemicals you […]

[…] you noticed though, how  democracy engages workers at the top when good tone is central, and yet disengages top talents when tone’s  […]

[…] Target tone skills and trust begins to flavor exchanges like spices add zip to a banquet. You’ll also build goodwill […]